Allegiant - I choose you - an alternatete ending
by Avidreader76
Summary: ***SPOILERS FOR ALLEGIANT*** DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Divergant Series. All the characters & everything associated with the Divergent Trilogy is the property of Veronica Roth. I enjoyed reading the Divergent trilogy, but was disappointed in the ending. This is how I wished the story would have ended. I hope you enjoy. Any reviews, critiques, or suggestions are appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

_(My story starts in the middle of chapter 50, after Tris was shot and her mom appears to her. The beginning of my story begins with Veronica Roth's words. All sentences that were taken from Allegiant are italicized.)_

**Tris...**

_And my mother walking out from behind him._

_She is dressed in the same clothes she wore the last time I saw her, Abnegation gray, stained with her blood, with bare arms to show her tattoo. There are still bullet holes in her shirt; through them I can see her wounded skin, red but no longer bleeding, like she's frozen in time. Her dull blond hair is tied back in a knot, but a few loose strands frame her face in gold._

_I know she can't be alive, but I don't know if I'm seeing her now because I'm delirious from the blood loss or if the death serum has addled my thoughts or if she is here in some other way._

_She kneels next to me and touches a cool hand to my cheek._

_"Hello, Beatrice," she says, and she smiles._

_"Am I done yet?" I say, and I'm not sure if I actually say it or if I just think it and she hears it._

_"My dear child, you've done so well._ You're dad and I are so proud of you. You can come and rest now my dear, come be at peace with us."

_I smile and close my eyes._

_I feel a thread tugging me again, but this time I know it isn't some sinister force dragging me towards death._

_This time I know it's my mother's hand, drawing me into her arms._

I feel myself going to her, the pain fading. I look at her face, her smile, her eyes, the glowing light around her...I feel the warmth, the calm, the peacefulness around her as I feel myself going to her embrace. I want to go and be at peace, be with my family.

As I reach for her I think of the others, all the ones I'm leaving behind...Cara, Caleb, Christina, Tobias. _I choke on a sob as the image of Tobias comes into my mind, of how dark and how still his eyes are, how strong and warm his hands are, when we first stood face-to-face. _I remember the love that we feel for each other...

"Mom, but the others..."

_"They'll care for each other," she says. "That is what people do."_

"I'm not ready to leave..."

"It's your choice...you are strong...you can come and be at peace with us or you can fight to stay...no matter what you choose your father and I are proud of you. We love you, always have and always will, and we will always be with you...its your choice."

I'm torn. She looks so peaceful and loving...I could be with everyone that I've lost...but I think of Tobias...how strong our connection is and how deep our love is. No I'm not ready to let go of that...say goodbye to him. I fight to stay here in my body, to stay here with him.

I look at my mom, notice the tears in her eyes..."I love you mom...but I'm not ready...not ready to leave him."

I feel the warmth of her slipping away..."we love you Beautrice...and we will always be here waiting for you."

The pain starts to return...the peacefulness has been replaced with noise. I hear people shouting, but I can't make out what they are saying or who's voice it is. I feel weak, cold, the pain is almost unbearable. I feel myself slipping, "maybe I am still going to die"...I think to myself, "stay strong, stay here...you have to pull through." I'm still slipping, and then everything goes black.


	2. Chapter 2

_(Chapter 2 of my story begins in chapter 51 after Tobias returns to the Buerau's headquarters. I have used some of Veronics Roth's own wording in this chaper Which is indicated by italics.)_

**Tobias ...**

_We walk through the abandoned security checkpoint without stopping. On the other side I see Cara. The side of her face is badly bruised, and there's a bandage on her head, but that's not what concerns me. What concerns me is the troubled look on her face_.

"_What is it?" I say_

_"Cara shakes her head._

_"Where's Tris?" I say._

_"I'm sorry Tobias."_

_"Sorry about what?" Christina says roughly. "Tell us what happened!"_

_"Tris went into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb," Cara says. "She survived the death serum, and set off the memory serum, but she was...she was shot_. It's bad!"

My body and mind went numb. How could I have left her again, let her stay here in danger! Then my mind started racing. Is she okay? Did she live? She has to! She's so full of life...power and strength. I'm mad! Mad at myself for not staying with her to keep her safe! Mad at Caleb for allowing her to go instead of him! And also mad at her for putting herself in jeopardy!

"Where is she?" I half yelled at Cara.

I stand at her bed looking at her, lying there on the bed, hooked up to machines...machines that are keeping her alive. She looks asleep, but she looks different, not my Tris, but a smaller and weaker version. I grab her hand, which feels cold and limp, in mine. Fighting back tears, I talk to her.

"Tris, we did it! You did it! I know you're still here Tris. Still here with me! Please Tris don't leave me. I need you! You have made me who I am. I can't lose you. Not now, not when we can hopefully be free, together!"

Gently I push back her blond hair from her face and give her a soft kiss on her lips. They feel so lifeless, not the soft warm lips that she kisses me with.  
>"I love you forever," I whisper to her.<p>

I don't know how long I've been sitting here, not wanting to leave her side. Worried that if I do, she will slip away from me forever. I have gotten used to the rotation of the doctors and nurses coming in and out, checking on her, giving her medications, the constant beeping of the machines.

"How's she doing?" I hear the voice of Christina behind me.

"There hasn't been any change..."

"Why don't you take a little break Four. Get something to eat, take a nap, change your clothes, you need to clean yourself up."

"But I can't leave her.."

Christina interrupts me, "Four, you need to go. She would want you to, you have to be strong for her, also I want some time with her too...please."

I knew she was right. I had to be strong for the both of us right now. How long has it been since I've left her room, had something to eat, two days I think.

"You're right. I'll be back soon though."

Maybe Christina was right, I thought to myself as I walked down the hallway, back toward her room after getting some food and a change of clothing. I feel more refreshed, and that is when I see him! My anger sweeps over me! He was supposed to be in the room, not her! She should not be lying in that bed fighting for her life! She should be in my arms, moving on with our life.

"Tobias?" I shudder as I hear him say my name.

I don't want to look at him, the miserable coward he is. I have to restrain myself, my anger wants to attack him.

"_Please wait. I have something to tell you. Something...she told me to tell you before..."_

_"Just get on with it," I say, before he tries to finish the sentence._

_"She told me that if she didn't survive, I should tell you..." Caleb chokes, then pulls himself up straight, fighting off tears. "That she didn't want to leave you."_

I don't want to hear him. The words make me more angry...I grab him, holding him against the wall.

"She's not dead! She hasn't left! She's lying in their fighting for her life! Why didn't she let you die?"

"_You think I'm not asking myself that question?" Caleb says. "She loves me. Enough to hold me at gunpoint so she could go there._ She wouldn't allow me to sacrifice myself...she knew she could fight off the death serum. I'm sorry!"

I release him. This is not what Tris would want me to be doing right now. I walk away back to her room, trying to forget what he said. She didn't want to leave me. What did she mean and why did she put herself in that situation. Why does she always have to be so brave and selfless?

_I know why she wanted to tell me that she didn't want to leave me. She wanted me to know that this was not another Erudite headquarters, not a lie told to make me sleep while she went to die, not an act of unnecessary self-sacrifice. I grind the heels of my hands into my eyes like I can push my tears back into my skull. No crying! _My tears won't help her.

As I walk back into her room, I see Christina standing over her...talking to her, holding her hand in hers. I notice how tired Christina looks, the puffiness under her eyes. I realize that I'm not the only one who is hurting right now. She has to make it through, this, not just for me, for the both of us. I walk up to Christina and fold my arms around her. I feel her collapse into me, as her body shakes with each sob she takes.

"Christina, she's strong! She's a fighter. I know that she'll pull through this," she has too I think to myself, I don't think either one of us could deal with her loss..."she's still here. I feel her here!"

I walk up to Tris...my Tris...my beautiful Tris. She looks so peaceful right now, at rest. I sit down next to her, holding her hand...Christina sits down too holding her other hand. We don't talk...just sit...willing her to stay with us. I'm not sure how long we sat there, eventually I must have succumbed to my tiredness because I awake to a nurse changing her IVs and Christina gone.

"Sorry to disturb you," the nurse says as I raise my head.

"Any change." I ask, searching her face for an answer.

"Not really, her vitals are remaining steady. Right now all we can do is wait and see..I'm sorry," she says as she leaves the room.

I feel the need to be closer to her, to hold her. I carefully lie down in her bed next to her, hold her in my arms...my mind starts to race back...to Choosing Day...I hear myself talking to her telling her my memory...

"_When your body first hit the net, all I registered was a gray blur. I pulled you across it, your hand was so small, but warm, and then you stood before me, short and thin - except you had jumped first. The Stiff had jumped first. Even I didn't jump first. Your eyes were so stern, so insistent...Beautiful!_" I continue, "_but that wasn't the first time I ever saw you. I saw you in the hallways at school, and at my mother's false funeral, and walking the sidewalks in the Abnegation sector. I saw you, but I didn't really see you; no one saw you the way you truly are until you jumped._" I buried my head into her arm, "_maybe a fire that burns that bright is not meant to last_," I whisper to her as I feel a tear roll down my cheek.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days have been a blur. It's been almost a week since she was shot and there has been no change. Christina and I take turns, sitting with her, talking to her...sometime together sometime alone. Christina and I are in the room, quietly sitting, when I notice a change in Christina...her eyes start to turn glossy, I see her gulp and a tear roll down her face.

"What is it?" I say.

"How long are we going to let her stay like this? This is not a life? She would not want to live like this? How long do we continue..."

"How can you say that...she's not gone..."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing Christina say. We couldn't just let her go...not now, not when I can still feel her presence with us. I feel anger coming over me! Anger at Caleb! Anger at David! Anger towards the Bureau! Anger at me for leaving that day! And now anger at Christina for thinking we should let her go! I get up...

"Tobias, we have to think of her. This is not her..." I hear her say as I walk out the door. I need to be alone to deal with my emotions! I walk not sure where I was heading I just know that I have to get away...

_"There you are," Christina says, jogging towards me. Her face swollen and her voice is listless, like a heavy sigh_. Seeing her all my anger I felt rushed out, replaced with a numb scared feeling, an emptiness rushing over me..

Trying to hold back my emotions, "what's wrong? What happened to Tris? Where is she?"

"Not Tris, Caleb's with her"...when I hear his name, knowing he's sitting there with her, when it should have been him instead of her..that coward. My anger starts to boil out again, until I hear Christina's next words..."_it's time. They're unplugging him._"

Uriah! In all my grief and worry over Tris, I forgot Uriah was clinging to his life too. I shudder at the word, but push myself to my feet anyways.

"Christina..." I look at her to try to apologize. I don't know what to say, but I know it's not her I'm mad at...it's the situation!

"Four you don't have to say anything...I understand."

_We walk together in silence to say goodbye to our friend. Hana and Zeke have been hovering over Uriah's body since we got here, their fingers finding his, their eyes searching for life. But there is no life left, just the machine beating his heart._

_I haven't slept in days but I don't feel tired, not in the way I normally do, though my body aches as I walk. Christina and I don't speak, but I know our thoughts are the same, fixed on Uriah, on his last breaths._

_We make it to the observation window outside Uriah's room, and Evelyn is there - Amar picked her up a few days ago. She tries to touch my shoulder and I yank it away, not wanting to be comforted._

_Inside the room, Zeke and Hana stand on either side of Uriah. Hana is holding one hand and Zeke is holding the other. A doctor stands near the heart monitor. Zeke and Hana join their free hands over Uriah's body. I can see Hana's lips moving, but I can't tell what she's saying- do the Dauntless have prayers for the dying? The Abnegation react to death with silence and service, not words. I find my anger ebbing away, and I'm lost in muffed grief again, this time not just for Tris, but for Uriah, whose smile is burned into my memory. My friend's brother, and then my friend, too, though not for long enough to let his humor work its way into me, not for long enough._

_The doctor flips some switches, his clipboard clutched to his stomach, and the machines stop breathing for Uriah. Zeke's shoulders shake, and Hana squeezes his hand tightly, until her knuckles go white._

_Then she says something and her hands spring open, and she steps back from Uriah's body. Letting him go._

_I move away from the window, walking at first and then running, pushing my way through the hallways, careless, blind, empty. _

I feel a new emptiness inside me. Maybe's Christina is right. Maybe she's not really there. She looks as lifeless as Uriah. Am I just being selfish keeping her alive by machines? Maybe it is time to let her go also, to say goodbye. Can I be brave enough to let her go? I feel a tightening in my chest, the lump in my throat is growing. I can barely breathe. I lean against the wall, crumpling down to the floor. I felt all the emotions, all the loss from the past few months come up. I try to pull myself together, this is not me, this is not Four. I'm strong! I'm brave! I don't cry! But I can't stop...I'm starting to break. So I just stay there, a crumpled mess, letting all the emotions draining out of me. I lay there for what feels like hours. I am drained...emotionally, physically, and mentally...but I know where I need to be. I need to be with her. As long as she is still here with us, I will not leave her side.


	4. Chapter 4

**Tris**

I am not sure how long I have been lying here. Hours, day, weeks? I have been fading in and out of the blackness that was surrounding me. But even when I am here I am stuck inside my body. I have seen and heard them, Christina and Tobias, both with me - sitting with me, crying over me, talking to me. They do not know that I'm here aware of their words, their movements. It hurts me to see them in pain, I want to scream to them, to let them know that I'm here. I am fighting to stay here, to be here with them, but it is so hard to fight the blackness. I heard Tobias beg for me to stay, felt his body next to me as he laid down in my bed holding me, telling his memories of the first time he truly meet me. I have to return to him! To Christina too. I made the right choice. But I'm scared when the blackness creeps over me, that my choice was already decided for me, no matter how hard I fight. My mind goes back to the thought of my mom, maybe I should have gone with her. It would have been easier, more peaceful, maybe it's not my choice to make and I'm just fighting the inevitable.

For the first time I hear Caleb here with me, he is standing next to me whimpering "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." I realize now that I forgive him, its not his fault I'm here, if only I could let him know. I feel the cold sweeping over me again, the blackness will soon be returning. What if I don't come back to them, to tell Tobias I'm sorry and I love him. I hear the door open, I feel Caleb releases my hand, and I hear one more "I'm sorry," but this time I'm not sure who it's directed to, Tobias or me, as he walks into my room. It doesn't look like him though - he looks distraught, worn out. A shell of the strong brave man I have fallen in love with. As he stands looking over me, I notice how red and puffy his eyes are. He looks broken! I fight against the darkness that I feel sweeping over me. I can't leave him, not know, not with him like this. I feel the warmth and strength in his hands as he takes ahold of mine. He doesn't know I'm with him right now. How I wish I could reach out to him and take away this pain. I hear him talk to me, his voice sounds weak, overcome with pain..."we let him go today Tris. Uriah's gone..." I feel the pain, the emotions, the loss! I want to scream, to cry, but I can't. The blackness is creeping back over me. Maybe I should just let myself so...I would be with my mom, my dad, Will, Uriah, and all of my friends who've I have lost...maybe I should just stop fighting. I feel my body giving away to the darkness, slipping away...maybe this will be it. Maybe I can let go. Go be at peace. I just want to see his face one last time...before I say my final goodbye...


	5. Chapter 5

**Tobias**

I head towards her room, realizing what I must do. I have to be strong, brave and selfless for her. I know Christina is right. This is not how Tris would want to live. This is not how she would want to be remembered. They let Urich go and I know I will have to do the same. I feel her presence still with us, but maybe I'm just imagining it, clinging to something, hoping that she is still there somewhere. Zeke and Hana let Urich go because they loved him and I now know that I must let her go too because I love her.

I open the door to her room, Caleb leaves when I get there mumbling "I'm sorry." I reach for her hands, never wanting to let her go, wishing that some way I could give her the strength to wake up, to return back to me. I look at her face, the face I've come to love and admire, and try to push back the thoughts of not being able to look into her eyes once more...and I have to tell her that she can let go and be at peace. I am strong enough. We will all make it through this. My last act to show my love for her is to tell her goodbye...


	6. Chapter 6

**Tris**

Even as the darkness is falling over me, I feel his hand brush across my face, slowly and gently. I feel his eyes intensely looking over my face. His voice is quivering now, "Tris, you need to know that I can be strong...we will all make it through this. I will be okay...I want you to be at peace...you don't have to be strong anymore Tris. We will carry on. You don't have to fight anymore...you can let go..." I couldn't believe what I was hearing...he was saying his goodbyes. I hear the lump in his throat as he tries to hold back his tears. I hear him swallow as he continues, "you have changed me, and I can't be selfish anymore. You will always be with me..be a part of me...but I'm ready to say goodbye..."

The room is getting smaller...the darkness has almost swept over me. I am trying to push it away, just long enough so I can hear these last words from him, feel the warmth of his hand in mine...just for a little longer. I see him lean over, feel the warmth of his lips as he kisses my forehead, "I love you," he whispers...my eyes "so beautiful," I feel a single tear fall onto me..."I will always be yours forever," he says as he kisses my lips, so full of love of life...the warmth of his love flows through my body. A sudden stronger urge to stay and fight...to be here with him. I can't say goodbye...I need to find a way..a way to fight stronger. I try to reach out to him, grab him, let him know that he's right I'm still here...listening to everything he is saying. I try...try to give him a sign, fighting against this body that is holding me captive...it's so hard and maybe it's no use. I feel him pulling away from me. Please, don't go, I think...but soon I realize that he's not going, he's looking at me, and then I hear him..

"Tris?"

Why is he looking at me like that? Did he feel me? Was I strong enough to show him that I'm still here with him?

"Tris are you still with me? Can you hear me?"

I feel him grab me tighter...looking deeper into me. All of a sudden the pain returns, more intense then it has been. I hear him shout out for the doctors, Christina...I hear the door swing open, footsteps come rushing in, people talking, my monitors are getting louder, there's chaos all around me...but I can't find him...what's happening to me? Where did he go?


	7. Chapter 7

**Tobias**

I can't believe I am doing this telling her that she can go. I don't want to say goodbye to her, but I remind myself that this is for her. I have to be selfless in our love. Her hand in mine. She looks so peaceful, like she is asleep, resting...but if she was asleep she would have waken up by now. No she's in a coma, a coma that the doctors aren't sure that she'll ever wake up out of. I swallow hard trying to fight back the tears. I lean over her kissing her forehead, so soft, whispering to her..."I love you." Her eyes...how beautiful and full of intensity they are...I feel a tear fall down my face, "I will always be yours...forever" I softly say before I give her one last kiss. Her lips are soft, but they are not full of the passion that once was inside.

What was that? Was that my imagination? I felt her hand, so ever lightly squeeze mine! I pull back from the kiss, looking at her, searching her face.

"Tris?" Looking, searching for another sign...please give me a sign...that she's still here with me.

"Tris..." I call out her name again, "are you still with me? Can you hear me?" Hoping, praying to see something..to show me she's here. And that's when I see the slight fluttering of her eyelids a tiny movement of her mouth. I hold on to her tighter, not wanting to let go...

"Doctor...Christina...she moved..."

In seconds a nurse arrives, then more nurses and doctors come rushing in. I hear the machines grow louder. One of the nurses reached out for me, to take me away. I can't leave her! I don't want to let her go! "Please Mr. Eaton, if you want to help her, leave her and let us do our job..." I don't want to let go but I do, standing in the doorway helplessly watching, waiting, praying as doctors and nurses work over her.

I hear her footsteps before I see her..."what happened? What's going on?" Christina screams at me.

"She moved...she moved...she was there with me."

I feel a rush of excitement and hope as I tell Christina how I went here to tell her goodbye, to let her go...but instead she moved. She's still here with us. I grab ahold of her hugging her tightly..."I told you she was strong..."

Christina pulls back, "then what is happening now? Why are they working so frantically over her? Why can't we be in there with her? Maybe instead she was saying goodbye..."

That thought never crossed my mind. Sometimes I hated the Candor part of Christina, always having to say the truth. Could she be right? Is that why they kicked me out of the room? Is she leaving us? Was that her goodbye? I think as I feel the lump return to my throat...

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**Tris**

Where is he? I need him here with me - to help me stay strong, to fight - but as I look around the room, amongst the chaos, all I see are the doctors and nurses. Everything seems more intense, brighter, noisier then it has for days, and the pain is almost unbearable. I feel a jolt go through me and then another one. The chaos calms, they're all looking at me, one doctor looks at the monitors, I see a nurse put something in my IV, I hear her voice calmly and softly say "rest now dear," as she walks away towards the door. The intense pain starts to fade away, being replaced with a fog. When the nurse returns she is not alone, he is here along with Christina. I see him, watch him move across the room. He looks tired, but light has been brought back to his eyes. He reaches for my hand, I turn my head towards him trying to bring my hand up to touch his face. I feel his other hand wrap around my hand, bringing it back down.."relax Tris, rest." My body allows me to move, not with the ease that I have become so used to - but I have moved! I'm no longer trapped inside! I gaze over him, smile at him. Then I look over at Christina who has taken the other side of me, her eyes glisten with tears. Our eyes meet, she smiles at me and I smile back. I look back at him, feeling the urge to hold him, tell him I love him, but the fog is holding me down...I'm so tired.

"Tobias.." I try to say. My voice is so weak. There's so much I feel like I need to say to him.

"Shh.." he says to me bringing my hand up to his mouth kissing it. "You need to rest now. I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere!" With those words I succumbed to the fog the medicine has put me in and drift off to a peaceful sleep, knowing he will be here with me when I wake up, and knowing without a doubt I will wake up. I did it! I thought to myself. I came back to him!

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**Tobias**

I'm in agony sitting here waiting. What's happening? I look over at Christina, who looks nervous too. Suddenly the movement in the room has calmed, everyone is gathered around her, looking at her. I need to know what is happening. A nurse appears in the doorway. I search her face for answers..."you can go and see her now, she's awake. but she's weak and she needs her rest." Did I hear her correctly? She's awake! Even though I haven't slept in days I feel a burst of energy rushes through my body. Christina and I look at each other and smile. I can't get to her fast enough, I reach out for her hand. She's so beautiful. Still looks weaker and smaller, but I see the life inside her that I haven't seen in days. I see her eyes, her beautiful intense eyes, watch me as I come near her. She reaches up to touch me, "relax Tris, rest" I say to her as I rest her hand back down. She changes her gaze from me to Christina who's eyes are filling up with tears, but this time they're tears of joy. I want to reach out, grab her, hold her - but I know I need to let her rest.

"Tobias..." I hear her strain to say. Her voice so quite and weak.

I desperately want to hear her again, but I need her to rest, to get her strength back. "Shh.." I kiss her hand "you need to rest now. I'll be right here! I'm not going anywhere." I see her slowly close her eyes, drifting off to sleep.

Christina and I sit there in silence, looking at her, every once in awhile we glance at each other and give a little smile. I don't think either one of want to move, want to let go of her. Scared that if we do this miracle will vanish. Earlier today it seemed hopeless. The doctors weren't giving her much of a chance to wake up and Christina and I were talking about letting her go - I even said my goodbyes to her. And now she is here with us, awake, alive.


	8. Chapter 8

**Tobias**

There's so much work still to be done here, trying to put this place back in order after the memory serum has been released. I have not been much help to that cause. Cara and Mathew have been in charge of that. Amur, George, Nita, and even Caleb and Christina have been helping too, but I haven't been able to pull myself away from her. I know that I should go now, but I can't. I can never leave her again...worried that it will all vanish if I leave.

I know that I should go, do what I can to help. I look up at Christina and it's like she's reading my mind. "I'll go and see what the others need. You stay here..." She says to me.

"Christina, I should..."

"No! You need to be with her! She needs you...and we all need her! We understand." And with that she leaves me to be alone with her. Its nice to be here, just the two of us, even as she sleeps. There's now a peaceful calm in this room. I feel the need to be closer, to hold her. Slowly and quietly I climb in her bed next to her, trying not to wake her. I put my arm around her, look at her face - more full of life then it had been in days. The doctors have removed some of the tubes that helped her stay alive. I feel her body twitch a little. I nudge closer her, hear her breath. Her breath...not being forced by some machine but by her own body. I'm so tired that I allow myself to drift off to sleep. I doze on and out of sleep, not wanting to stay asleep for long, needing to reassure myself that she is her with me, to feel the warmth of her next to me.

Hours have past when I feel her move. I prop myself up to look at her, I feel her hand grab ahold of mine as she turns and looks at me.

"Tobias.." She says barely above a whisper. I stroke her hair..."I need you...I choose you," she says to me with a smile. She choose me! I don't now what she meant by that, but it makes me feel good and warm inside. I lean over and kiss her lips. Soft and warm. A gentle kiss full of love.

"I love you," I say before she kisses me back, not taking her eyes off me.

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><p><span><strong>Tris<strong>

I'm finally waking up from this foggy sleep that the medicine put me in. I feel his arm wrapped around me, gentle but strong and protective, I feel the warmth of his body next to me. I reach out to touch his hand. I feel his muscles tense as he moves to sit up, looking at me. There's so much I have to say to him, so much I want him to know. I try to talk but my voice is so weak..."Tobias...I need you...I choose you." He leans over to kiss me. It feels nice, warm and gentle. "I love you."

I open my mouth, wanting him to know...know about why I had to go into the room, about seeing my mom, about having to make a choice, about fighting to stay with him. I start to move to see him better. Ahhh! A sharp pain radiates through my body. I grimace, as I reach for my side - the side where the bullet ripped a hole in me.

"Tris," I see the fear in his eyes, the concern in his voice.

I try to move again, try to talk, but the pain is so sharp, all I can do is gasp.

"Tris, do you need the doctor?"

I shake my head.."I need you..." He gently lays his hand on my lips.

"I'm here Tris, and I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me," he says to me with a smile.

"I want you to know Tobias.." Grimacing as another sharp pain shoots through my body.

"Tris I need you to get better. We can talk latter, but now we need you to focus on you and getting better." He rests his head back next to me. I curl my body into him, just feeling him next to me makes me feel stronger.

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><p>When I wake up, I'm feeling better, the pain has lessened. I want Tobias to know why I did what I did. He needs to know all that has happened. We're alone again, I'm leaning up against him in my bed. I feel his chest raise and fall with each breath. I hear the beat of his heart.<p>

"Tobias, I want you to know why I did it. You need to know why I went instead of him. It was not to be brave. He's my brother! I couldn't send him to his death! I didn't want to leave you, but I knew I had a chance. He didn't. I couldn't send him to die...and no matter how mad I am at him, he's my brother, he's part of me, I love him. I didn't want you to think that I was on another death mission. I didn't want you to be mad at me."

He pulls me in tighter towards him.

"I'm not mad, not at you. I should never have left you here alone. I should have been here with you. Protected you."

"Don't blame yourself Tobias. You had to go, you were the only one that could have reached your mom. And you had to get Zeke, bring your friend back here. You had to do that for Zeke, for Urich, and for yourself. There was no way to know that David would be waiting for me." I turn so I can see his face, look into his eyes. "After I was shot, I saw my mom, not a hallucination, my mom was there for me, and I knew why. I was dying and she was coming to take me home. It was so peaceful and calm, I wanted to go with her." I look in his deep blue eyes intensely looking at me, and feel his heart beating faster. "I wanted to go home, be free of all this pain, be at peace. But then I thought of you, about our love, about us...and I was not ready to say goodbye, to lose what we had. She gave me a choice, chose to be at peace with my family or fight to stay here.." His arms around me tightened, making me feel warm inside. "I choose to stay with you...I choose you over my family."

As I think back to how beautiful and peaceful my mom looked and I feel my eyes start to swell.

He reaches up, pushing my hair back, looking at me lovingly, "I'll be your family now."

Cupping my face in his hand he leans over to kiss me. A kiss full of warmth, love, and passion. My body fills with energy. I feel the need to be closer to him, wrapping my arm around him back, up under his shirt. I feel the muscles on his back tighten as I pull him closer so there's no space between us. As we lay there I each other arms, body's merging into one, I knew that I had made the right choice. I don't want to move, don't want to break this bond, stop this feeling. A feeling of being secure and safe. We drift off to sleep together, holding each other tightly.

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><p><strong><em>Thanks to everyone who has read my alternate ending. I am working on the next few chapters and conclusion of the story. Please let me know if you are interested in reading more. Any reviews or critiques are helpfull. Thank you.<em>**


	9. Chapter 9

**Tris**

Over the next few days I feel my strength retuning to me. Christina has come in to visit me daily, Cara, Zeke and Mathew too. Even Amur and George has stopped in. And of course Tobias has not left my side, except for on a few occasions when Christina has kicked him out so he can eat or change. They fill me in on what has happened in the Bureau and at the city. Our plan worked! The memory serum I released before losing consciousness spread throughout the compound, erasing most everyone's memory, except for the few of us who was inoculated against it. Luckily for me, Mathew decided to inoculate a few of the doctors and nurses, in case we needed some medical treatment. Now my friends are working hard, teaching those who lost their memory the truth - that there are not pure or damaged genes, that as humans we are all different and as individuals we can choose how we are going to live our life. I have an urge to help them out in their work, to create a world where everyone feels this way...no GD and GP...just everyone as equals and individuals. But first I need to get better.

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><p>I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I have to stay in this bed for much longer, but the doctors say I'm still to weak, no matter how much protesting I do. It is nice to be able to spend so much quiet alone time with Tobias. I feel closer to him now then ever before. There's no secrets and all the barriers between us have been torn down. Christina too is doing her best to keep me contempt, even though she knows how much I'm hating this. She has a way to always get a smile out of me. Everyone has been doing their best to keep me company. That is everyone except for Caleb, who hasn't even came by to check on me. I have to say it hurts me and makes me wonder why. Does he really not care? Or does he feel guilty? I don't know his reason, but I have a desire to see him, to talk to him. I need to let him know that I love him. No matter how angry I am at him and feel betrayed by him, I want him to know that I forgive him...he'll always be my brother.<p>

"Tobias, I need to see him." He was lying next to me stroking my hair. I could see his face tense up as a scrowl spread over his face. I know he is upset with Caleb and doesn't trust or like him, but this is my choice, its something I have to do. "I know you don't like him, but he's my brother. I need to talk to him and try to forgive him. Don't be upset Tobias!"

"I understand Tris. I just have a hard time forgetting that he is a big reason why I almost lost you twice." I could see the emotions in his deep blue eyes as his mind remembers to how close he almost lost me, not once but twice. "I don't trust him, but I support you."

When Tobias left to get him, I thought about what I was going to say to him. My mind was torn. I wanted my brother back. The brother I knew, at least I thought I knew. The person who grew up in the room right next to me - who played with me, helped me, and was there for me. That was the Caleb I missed. But at the same time I couldn't forget about how he deceived me, betrayed mean, and lied to me. He had a part in the plan that killed our parents and almost killed me. Could I really forget that and move on? I'm not sure, but I know that I want to try.

I feel the tension between them as they return to my room. Tobias crosses over to my bed, glances at me with a tense smile. He sits down next to me, wrapping his arm around me, trying to protect me. I feel how tense his muscles are, like he is ready to pounce on Caleb. I notice his eyes move away from me to Caleb, intensely glaring at him. Leaning into his body resting my head on his chest, I hear his heart race with anxiety. My hand rests on his lap, rubbing his leg. I want to calm him, relax him. I look at him, looking in his deep blue eyes, trying to assure him that I'm okay and that he can relax. He seems to understand, because I hear him take a deep breath and his body relaxing. With Tobias relaxing, I see Caleb for the first time and my heart sinks. He's a mess! He looks like he hasn't slept or changed in weeks. I have never seen him like this before. It obvious to me know why he has not come to see me, he blames himself!

"You need to know why I wouldn't let you go...why I took your place. Caleb I love you, and no matter how upset and hurt I have been by you, that day when I looked at you all I saw my brother. I couldn't send you to your execution."

He looks dejected, looking down, not wanting to make eye contact with us. "Beautrice, I wish you would have let me go. I would never have forgiven myself if you didn't survive this."

Tobias snickers, "and why should we believe that. You didn't seem to care the first time you almost got her killed."

He's hurt and angry I tell myself as I nudge him with my elbow, disappointed that Tobias had to chime in with his opinion. His lips presses up against my head as he quietly whispers sorry to me.

"All I can say now is I'm sorry. I never wanted anybody to get hurt, especially my family." Caleb swallows, fighting his emotions. "But I thought what we were doing was for the good of our city. Jeanine Matthews had me fooled. I just didn't realize how far she was going to take it, how many people were going to get hurt. Because of me, a lot of people, people I cared about, are dead. Maybe if I was stronger, braver, more like you Beautrice...maybe then I could have seen what was happening and tried to do something. I'm not asking for you to forgive me, I know I never will forgive myself for what I was a part of, but I hope you someday you can understand." Standing there in front of me all I could see was the brother I grew up with, and part of me understood. "I'm sorry to both of you. Tobias, you have every right to hate me...everything I said and did to you. What I took from you...and what I almost took. I know it's not enough, but I'm sorry. You were there for my sister, when I wasn't."

"Caleb, I forgive you. I don't think I will ever fully understand how you felt the need to betray your family, but I want you to know that I have always loved you. I forgive you...and I hope that someday, we can move on, and be a family again."

"I'd like that." Caleb said, looking at me trying his best to give me a little smile. And with that he left.

It felt good see him, talk to him, knowing that we could work on mending what we had...but at the same my heart hurt for everything that has been lost. My eyes fill up with tears, I don't even try to hold them back. Sobbing I curl up into Tobias' chest as he pulls me in closer to him. I don't want to be strong anymore, I don't want to be brave. I just want to lie here wrapped in the warmth of his strong arms. My mind races over all the loss...my mom, my dad, Will, Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Tori, the bond I once had with my brother, and the life I once knew. Hoping that someday we can all mend and feel safe again.


	10. Chapter 10

Finally I'm free again. Free from my hospital bed, free from the machines and tubes. The doctors said I could leave as long as I promised I would take it easy. Guess they didn't realize who they were talking to. It feels nice to be outside again, to be able to walk. The sun on my face, on my body, warms me up. The cool breeze blowing against my face, through my hair. Our fingers intertwined. We walk quietly side by side. It feels like forever since I've left my bed, so much has changed around me. Smiling to myself, I close my eyes, and take a deep breath. Absorbing everything I have missed the last month...the smell of the fresh air, the sound of the birds chirping and the leaves blowing in the wind. Everything seems right at this moment. Squeezing his hand I look up into his deep blue eyes, remembering the first time I looked into them. How nervous I felt, how unsure I was of me, of us. It seems like a different time...a different me.

"You okay?" He asks.

I wrap my arms around him, pulling his body closer to me. His chest feels warm against mine. "I'm great right now, here with you." Slipping my arm under the back of his shirt, feeling his muscles move as I rub my hands up them. I feel my body start to warm. His lips find their way to my mouth. Warm, strong, passionately we kiss each other. One hand playing in my hair, I feel the other one find its way down my back. In this moment it feels like the whole world has disappeared and there's only the two of us standing there.

"I want you Tobias." I whisper to him between kisses. He smiles at me, reaching down he swoops me up into his arms. He so strong, so sure of himself...carrying me with ease until we reach his room, kicking the door shut behind him as we go inside.

"I love you Tris," he says to me as we reach his bed.

"I love you too." I pull him back to me. The energy between us is so intense, I find the bottom of his shirt, and pull it up and over him. I smile looking at his body, how strong he looks, knowing he is mine. He wraps his arm around me, under my shirt, pulling it up slightly, feeling our bare stomachs against each other. His breath feels warm as it finds it way down my neck, kissing it along the way. He kisses my tattoo as I give out a little moan. "You're so beautiful," he says to me as he continues to pull up my shirt until there is no barrier between us. Our hearts beat faster, our breathing intensifies. Our bodies merge into one, feeling the warmth of him, my body tingles as his muscles tense against me. He lets out a groan as he tightens his arms around me. Finally our muscles relax. A smile spreads across my face as I relax and lie down next to him, resting my head on his chest. Listening to his heartbeat relax to a steady pace. He tenderly and softly kisses my forehead, his hand resting on my back. A cool breeze blows down my bare back as I shiver. Gently, he moves, and pulls the blanket up and over me. We lie there together, wrapped up in each other's arms, in silence, not wanting to break the moment...and we slowly drift off to sleep.

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><p>The next morning I wake up, still in his arms. Looking up at him, seeing his eyes on me. I could get use to this I think to myself. The early morning light creeping into the room, casting a warm glow over the room and illuminating him. Everything seems so right today. The world to me feels different. I feel different...more alive and safe.<p>

"Good morning beautiful!" Brushing my hair back out from my face he leans over and kisses my forehead. A smile spreads across my face, as I rub my hand down across his body. How beautiful and strong it is. Suddenly I feel insecure, looking at the difference of his bare body and mine. I reach down for the blanket that had fallen off sometime during the night. Pulling it up and over me, shielding my body from him. "Please don't...Don't hide yourself from me. You're so beautiful." I feel his hand push the blanket off of me, exposing myself again to him. My face starts to flush as I feel shy being here bare in front of him, until I look at his face. Seeing the way he's looking at me makes me feel more secure. He doesn't see what I see, in his eyes my skinny little body is beautiful. His fingers find their way to the tattoo on my collarbone, tracing each bird with his finger. His eyes intensely following his fingers. Once he's traced all my birds, his hand finds his way across my chest. It feels warm and firm against me as he cups me into his hand. An intense warming sensation swells inside of me.

"Oh...Tobias.."I moan. As he continues to move his hand down my body, he gently rolls me over on my back, leans over me, kissing my lips. His kiss is warm and passionate. I feel him, taste him inside my mouth. His other hand has found itself up my back to my head, wrapped in my hair, firmly tightening his hand, slightly tugging against me. His body feels warm against my chest, as he presses into me. We stay there for a while, before his lips slowly and softly travel their way down my neck, to my collarbone, and my chest. I feel the warmth of his breath and the dampness of his lips pausing at each spot kissing them. When his lips brush over my bare chest the warming sensations inside of me intensifies. I feel my heart begin to race. My arms wrap around his back, bringing my hands up to his shoulders, clutching onto him. Pulling him close into me. His muscles tighten under my hands. He pulls back, eyes on me, "I love you Tris."

Continuing to make his way down my side, he stops when he reaches my scar. The scar where they had to cut me open to remove the bullet. The bullet that almost ripped me apart, almost took me away from him. I watch as his eyes shift down looking at it. His fingers tracing it. I can see in his eyes that he is thinking the same thing, remembering how close he was to losing me. For the moment, I've lost him to that memory. My hand softly follow the muscles down his arm, until I'm resting my hand on his.

"Tobias..," I say to him gently clutching onto his hand. Trying to bring him back to the present.

"Tris, I almost lost you." I hear the tremble in his voice. His mind drifting back to that day.

"I know, but I'm here now because of you. I'm not going anywhere...I promise. I love you."

He leans over and softly kisses my scar. "I love you...and I promise I'm never going to let anything happen to you. You're safe now."

Pulling him back up to me, I kiss his lips tenderly and softly, "I know." For the first time in a long time I truly feel safe.

I kiss him again, but this time I kiss him passionately and strong. Returning our mind back to this moment. My hand finds the small of his back pulling him back to me. I feel his hand, moving farther down, firmly grabbing ahold of my hip. Clutching onto me he pulls me in tighter. I wrap my leg around him. His hand grabs my rear, pulling me in closer to him, so there's nothing, no space between us. Our breaths hasten, hearts race. I feel the warmth of him as our body's intertwine into one. It feels so right. He is a part of me and I'm a part of him and nothing again will every break that bond. His muscles tenses and twitch. I feel my body tingling and quiver. "Ohh.." I let out a moan. I hear his rapid breathing in my ear, the warmth of his breath on my neck, kissing me. Finally our body's begin to relax, our breathing slows, our heart beats returns to normal. I let out a sigh, as Tobias lies down on his back. I roll on him, my stomach on his, propping myself up on his chest, looking into his face. We smile at each other, as I feel his hand stroking my hair.

"I love you Tris."

"And I love you Tobias," I whisper back to him. Not wanting to break the moment, we lie there together in silence, just looking at each other. Lost in each other's eyes.

After a moment, I feel his body move underneath me. Breaking the silence, I hear him ask me, "Tris what now? What do you want to do?"

I look at him, smiling..."I'm ready to go home. I want us to go back...go back home."

He pulls his arm around me holding me close to him. "Me too," he says as he kisses me.

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><strong><em>Thank you for reading my story. Please let me know what you think of it so far. I have a few ideas on how to finish it. I hope you have enjoyed it so far.<em>**


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